Hello, Halo

Anybody else’s life not turning out how they’d planned? If you would have asked me when I was a freshman in highschool where I would be when I was 21, I would never had thought this. Not even a little.

I was sure that I would go to Columbia or Luther. I figured I would have been finishing up my degree in either photography or music education, with a minor in either English or women’s studies. Maybe I had a boyfriend I was living with, and I probably wasn’t in contact with any of my high school friends. I would probably be working part-time in a mall retail job, or maybe even full time. I would be wildly successful in my concentration in school and know exactly where I was headed by now. I might even be scoping out internships in a big city… New York, Chicago, San Fransisco…

Nope.. that’s not it at all. In fact, I flunked out my first semester of college at St. Ambrose, so I had to start over. Sure, got in to Columbia, but could I afford it? Hell no. So where did I end up? Iowa State University, somewhere I had never even thought about until last summer.

So, here I am. About to turn 21. And where am I? I’m in Iowa. Ames, Iowa to be exact. I study anthropology. Up until this last semester, I was absolutely positive I wanted to be an english major. I love to write and I love to read, but I just do not like english classes. I am loving my anthropology classes, though. I’ve changed my major to that, and I’m afraid that I won’t know what to do with it when I’m done, but for now, it’s ok.

My friends aren’t the people I had expected to make or expected to keep. I live with 3 guys I met on Craig’s List, and one of their girlfriends practically lives here. I don’t particularly like two of them, but I absolutely adore Brandon and Carrie. Tk is still my best friend. I’ve lost some good friends, cut loose some bad friends, and made some new friends. Actually, I’m a little surprised with the friends I made. Danielle and I used to be frenemies, and I now I tend to see her as a really close friend. And Jake? I never would have guessed in high school that we would end up as friends. He’s such a good guy and we have so much fun.

I don’t have a boyfriend, but in the past few years, my taste in boys has definitely changed. The guys I’m interested in now are surprising me (along with some friends!). it’s not all about me, anymore. I’m looking for someone who my friends and family will not just tolerate, but love. And I always thought I would want to live with a guy immediately. It turns out, I do want to live with a guy, but not the one I’m dating. I think it’s really important to have boundries before you get married. Otherwise, what is different exactly, when the day comes? Your name changes? I think you need a little more adjusting before you move in with someone. And who knows, maybe my thoughts will change, but maybe not.

I’m not living in a big city. Actually, I think I might move back to the Quad Cities when all is said and done. I go back home fairly often, and I never tire of it. I love it there. But, I love the Des Moines area, too. I’m learning that family is a lot more important that I thought. I kind of regret not being closer with my brothers, but I hope that changes in the upcoming years. I hope to becoming closer with my sister in law, and not think of her as a sister in law, but a sister. I love my neices and miss them so much when they’re not around. I miss my parents so much, and my Grandpa and cousin. I want to be within driving distance from my family, so right now, places like New York and San Fransisco don’t seem to be in the cards.

I’m excited for what’s coming. In the past few weeks I’ve taken some risks. Hashed out conflicts with friends, tried to be more independent, and even told a guy how I feel about him. I was so afraid that something bad would happen that I put it off for so long. After taking these risks though, I was so glad. I know things aren’t always going to turn out as good as they did, but the waiting felt worse than anything else could have.

While I’m nowhere near where I thought I would be, I’m happy.